Looking Good!!!!! (It's All Good! ... as the young people say...)

So far Jim keeps getting better each day while in the hospital!....

Content & Sleeping in His Favorite IC Sweatshirt!!!

Today he is happy that I put one of his Illinois College sweatshirts on him after his bath.... (wow.. what a blessing to have so many gray sweatshirts....LOL)

Blessings....

Friends like Debby & Denny who care for our "fur-babies" while we are away!

Debby's midnight visit to the hospital to deliver Depends!!

Nook books that can be ordered anytime of the day or night....

Caring doctors and nurses at Memorial!

Karron

Getting "Out of the House"

Getting out the door and into the car is quite an experience!  We have an appointment with the oncologist in Springfield today.... I am just praying that it doesn't turn into an ICU visit!!
We also have a lot of other appointments this week.... No Home Health Nurses....

The weather is extremely pleasant... so... I think I will try to leave the house at noon for our 3pm visit...

                                                                          Blessings today...

Great sunshine!

Happy cats & dogs in our home!  (aka "Murphy Animal Retreat"..not really).

More to come!!!

Tuesday... 8/16/11

Well we didn't make it to the doctor's appointment... (did not go to ICU), but we are in a room on the oncology floor for more tests to see if the spinal tumor or brain tumors have started growing again....

Relaxing this Sunday...

The sun is shinning and the temperature is only in the high 70's and low 80's and almost no humidity!!

This is a very good day for the front porch.... Deb has already visited and hung our 2 new shades.... :)

Debby

Blessings.......

Red Lobster meal with Debby this week!!  (Thanks Marikay & Francie for the gift cards!)

Visit with Denny's family, Chris, Adam, Abby & Andrew!

Phone calls & cards from caring friends and family!

???

It has been over a week since Jim was in the ICU.... He had become dehydrated and confused... after the IV antibiotics and many liters of IV fluids, his blood pressure improved and he came home after 2 days, much better, enjoying family conversations again, visitors and eating most everything!! Now.....
Jim is still eating, taking oral fluids and enjoying occasional visits from friends... but....our insurance provider, Health Alliance has told us he doesn't qualify for home nurse visits to assess his care, nor regular physical or occupational therapy.....
It seems that if I agreed to have him placed in the "Home Hospice" program, he would at least qualify for an RN visit for assessment.....
Many questions and gallons of tears later, I have now decided to challenge their decision this Monday.... for you see, I was informed by phone on Friday at 350pm of this decision.... no time to call Health Alliance....
(coincidence?).
If we would have had nursing visits prior to his ICU stay, maybe he would not have been so sick????
I cannot help but believe that the "cheaper" way to take care of Jim as seen from Health Alliance standpoint would be to "force" hospice care and limit his in-patient visits and possible expensive, (although effective), time in the Intensive Care Unit....

I have many, many thoughts right now, but I am afraid to keep putting all this down on my blog....

Oh yes.... The insurance company would also help me "figure out a way" to obtain community resources!!!!

(No thanks...Unlike the insurance provider,  I just want to do the right thing for Jim.)

Until today, I did not try to write any of the "funny" things down thinking it would somehow jinx me....
but.... I just have to share and take the risk!

I opened the mailbox a few days ago......... wow... the new mailbox smelled great..maybe like lavender...
(My first thought was that the postman had slipped a room deodorizer in the slot....)  Then my second thought after opening a package from my sister-in-law from California was "How nice... she sent a bag a marijuana for Jim!!
NO>>> just a bag of lavender.....  :(

Karron

Update... Jim's Newest CT Results

The results from Thursday's CT of his chest and body were very good.  "No evidence of metastatic disease"!

Jim still is blind and unable to walk or hold a phone, razor, toothbrush, etc, but.....

his lung tumor, and the brain tumors cannot be seen!! We are also excited that his spinal tumor is "dying" from the Gamma Knife radiation 2 months ago.

It is so sad to receive hurtful messages from Jim's sisters who "expected more empathy from him" when his brother-in-law passed.  Even though I have explained that Jim does not understand what time of the day it is, know when to eat, is unable to comprehend more than very short conversations, they believe we could have "done more for sister Trish"...  I feel this is uncaring, and hurtful to both of us.....

Abundant blessings have come to us these past few days!

Debby's card & cupcakes were delicious!

Butter & Marshall had a great sitter, (Deb), this week!

Denny, Adam & Abby made our lawn beautiful!

Thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts and prayers and most of all understanding!

Karron 

Celtic Woman - A New Journey - You Raise Me Up

For all of us to listen to today.....
Blessings are everywhere... I just need to remember this!


Karron

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIM!

Jim said to me after having vistors today, "Wow, what party-goers we are!"

Many Cards, Calls & E-mails sending Birthday Wishes!

Lori Steuer Delivers Special Wishes from Underground Railroad Members!

Pam & Lori Bring Cake and Birthday Wishes to House!

Pam, Jim & Karron Enjoy Jim's Special Day!

Abby, Jim & Denny



Dr. Cross Delivers Birthday Card!



Looking at Options......

While on the Inspire Site I read many successful stories of people surviving the type of cancer Jim has....

(Non-smoker, lung tumor, EGRF positive)

I think I will make a list today of the options possibly available to us...

One option is to take an immune stimulating pill, LDN.... (Low Dose Naltrexone)  It is taken nightly and seems to stimulate autoimmune responses for all sorts of diseases, even lung tumors....

Knowing that some web sites are bogus, I plan to discuss this next week in St. Louis during Jim's appointment with the oncologist...

Blessings....

Bright Sunny Day!

Debby's visits each evening with Jim!

Test Results & More ...

New table and chairs for porch!! (Gift from Francie & Rick)

Jim's latest CT, (done 2 weeks ago) shows a possible tumor growth in his right kidney...

next week we are going to Barnes for more tests....

We have lost our brother-in-law, Dennis this week due to a tumor in his pancreas...

He was very healthy until about 3 weeks ago and was at the University of Chicago for the initial biopsy and remained until his death on Monday...

What a quiet, gentle man!

We are the God parents of his son, Jordan...

Jim is trying now to decide if he is strong enough for the trip to Chicago to see his sister...

Summer Blessings...

Nice, new front porch for Jim to enjoy the mornings with coffee!

New short hair for me... (mistake, but oh well...)

Planning Jim's Birthday Celebration!

What fun it is to look at all our photos this week!

Many wonderful memories!

 

David Phelps - No More Night

This is a song that has helped  "lift my spirits"!

What a BLESSING!!

I Can Do This! (Really)

While eating breakfast on the porch with Jim this morning during the thunderstorm, I forgot about the anxiety and the thoughts which consumed me yesterday....
I know I can do this... whatever "This" means...

Making my "to-do-list" and drinking strong coffee from our new one cup Keurig, I realized that if I faced just one challenge at a time, (even if I completed or started one a day), maybe, just maybe I CAN do it...

My list today will be short...

1. Finish the "Waiver of Premium Benefit" insurance forms for Liberty Mutual,,, (seven) and mail at post office by 4pm...
                        Note to self.... What is a "Waiver of Premium Benefit"?

2. Complete my retirement forms......  maybe....

3. Grocery store...find nice steak and potato for this evening!!!

4. Call Debby for help!!!!

Karron

 

Things for later....

Get parking disability card for car...
Buy flowers for garden....
Spend gift card from Francie at TJ MAXX..... yea!

Can't Stop the Tears!

Why can't I stop crying today??

a. Too much sad news on the computer & T.V?

b. Too much laundry???

c. Too many weeds in my garden????

d. Too many cats wanting to be fed Fancy Feast instead of dry cat food?????

e. Too many bills??????

f. Too many house projects put on hold??????

g.Too many missed dinners with friends and family???????

h. Too little time for walks and long talks with Jim????????

i. Too long a list for groceries and Walmart supplies????????

j. Too many doctor appointments?????????

No, not really....

OK....

Here it is...

I HAVE TO RETIRE FROM A JOB I LOVE.... (REALLY... REALLY... LOVE!)

I'm sad, lonely and I feel for the very first time...useless...

**More...445pm
I feel better now.. my sister-in-law e-mailed me & I heard from some of the nurses at MMC...
Their GPE picture made me smile!!
& Lin dropped by to see Jim!


Karron

Enjoying Monday!

Breakfast on porch!

Nap after breakfast... of course!

A new week, and so far Jim is feeling pretty spunky!

Off to St. Louis Later Today

Yes... we will be traveling to St. Louis later today.... again...
The trip is nice, once I get everything and everyone in the car.....

MRI is scheduled for 6pm (for his spinal tumor) We plan to stay the night after supper at Applebees!



Blessings:

Great friends and supportive family!

The benefit raised $5,000!! (Planning to keep in savings & buy electric bed!!)

Karron

Everything Has Changed......

While Jim is taking an afternoon nap, I have decided to begin another blog.....(Why does it seem to take so much energy???)
I have looked back on my past blogs and have realized that there is so much I have not talked about....

Like.....

How do we plan for our funerals when we still have hope that we will live together for many years to come???

Why do we keep Jim's car in the driveway when he has lost his vision???

Why do we talk about "little", meaningless things like the Royal Wedding when time together may end too soon???

Why do we watch Dancing with the Stars when we could be spending time together, sharing, loving and praying???

I want to believe that both Jim & I have faith that God will direct us through all the difficult decisions and challenges facing us.....we just want to have a little "normal" in our lives and in our home.

As Jim's friends gather for his "Get Well Reception" today, I want to stop the tears, the doubts and endless questioning.....

I'm so thankful for so much..... it should be easier to do!

Karron

Off to Physical Therapy Today!!!!

Off to Springfield for Jim's first session of Physical Therapy at Memorial Medical Center....

 

Yea!!





Back now (130pm)!   Jim is napping now after almost an hour of therapy...

I asked him why he was so tired.....he said.... "I thought they would just do paper work today!!"

It's the Little Things....

Yes... It's the little things that I can't do without!
(There is a great Christian song with this title!)

I do miss the greatest "little things" Jim & I shared...

Finding Jim on the front porch with the poodle when I arrive home from work, or shopping...

Seeing the sweet half-smile when I say something really dumb... (like what did you make for dinner?)

Help to balance by checking account, (aka... "bail me out, Jim!" & I'm not Clark Howard!)

 Fixing the shower... (I'm attempting to  change the shower head to one that is also hand-held.)


Help unloading the dishwasher...(This just seems a waste of time..)


Finding flashlights & batteries during a storm..

Evening walks with the dog....

Sitting on the front porch with by two guys, Butter & Jim!

More... to ..come....

Exercising to the California Girls!

We are listening to the Beach Boys again.....
Jim's goal this morning is to "bike" 2 miles again before taking his mid-morning nap!

(Thank goodness for Ritalin......)

This afternoon Jim wants to go to Best Buy and check out the HD televisions.....

He has convinced himself that one that is big and good quality he will be able to see..... (more to come...)

Physical therapy and occupational therapy start next week.... yea!

"Back in the Saddle"!

Jim is feeling better today!!

He has gained 2 pounds this morning!!


Blessings....

Dick who "reminds" Jim that it is Thursday and time for Kiwanis!

Diana Chesley for sending the great Walmart gift card!  (To be used on our spring flower garden!)

Karron

Sunshine and More...

Jim has enjoyed the front porch today and several visits from neighbors out walking today in the sunshine!

We received a very cute gift card from one of our friends, Debbie...

How timely!

I just found some pictures of my Great-grandparents.....
I believe I remember these photos....

Their home in Whitewright Texas was very small and if I remember correctly, just 3 rooms!!!

Blessings....

Adam & Abby who visit and play with Butter!

Karron