Breath Of Heaven - Amy Grant

Breath Of Heaven - Amy Grant

Giving up??? NO WAY!

There are days like this one...

Cloudy, cold and I'm not at work...

I feel alone and just want to give up trying to make things better for Jim, for me and I guess, even for those I work with....

Letters and e-mails like this one arrive almost daily..... It takes hours, if not days to confirm Jim has health coverage and then more time to receive written confirmation from our insurance carrier....

It is not a surprise to me that this happens... I see it happen to my patients occasionally..

but it is distressing...

This particular item, however, seems to haunt me....

Maybe I will feel better about this tomorrow, next week or next ????

Karron

Ed & Jim

Sharing happy memories of Jim and his friends, family and those he has worked with helps me focus on keeping Jim healthy and allowing both of us to be productive and happy in our chosen careers!

**Blessings...

**True friendship!
**Loving parents who have inspired us to "keep loving in our difficult times"!

More///
At the end of the day, I know that I should set aside the negative feelings that news like this letter creates, but it gets harder to do with time slipping away...
We have been told that Jim's insurance coverage will stay the same until 2012....
Never expecting the changes that have come our way this year, I am just slightly worried..(??)
Writing checks this week to the hospitals and physicans just to meet our part of the plan has been overwhelming...
I'm so thankful that we have had our insurance coverage during his radiation and chemotherapy!
Now... back to our exercise bike!!

Remembering ......

What fun it is to look at these "old" photos!







The boys at Christmas a long, long time ago.....



2nd Thanksgiving!!!

Yes!

It is our 2nd Thanksgiving since Jim was in the hospital!

***We have been truly blessed!

Ricki is all better now! She is sleeping with Jim on the "magic" warm blanket!

Karron

Ricki..... Going To Dr. Ebrey's Today!

Yes, Jim, (also know as "Ricki's Daddy") is off today for her surgery.....

Hugs and kisses!


***Blessings..

**Cute, playful kittens!

Karron

Tuesday and It's Very Cold Outside!

Jim's visit with Dr. Esplin went well yesterday...

She is amazed that his lungs are functioning so well...

No radiation to the back yet... I think we will see the radiologist for a second opinion soon...

It is very cold outside and rainy.... I just want to snuggle Jim and Butter and go back to sleep!

No more appointments for Jim this week, but Ricki will be going to Dr. Ebry's for her surgery tomorrow...

(shh... we are going to tell her we are taking her for a baby kitten "check-up"...)

**Blessings...

**Jim's caring sisters who keep Jim's spirits up!
**Neighbors who open their hearts and home just at the right time!

A Hopeful Monday!

Jim will be going to see Dr. Esplin this afternoon....
We had very good reports from Dr. Bakir concerning his pulmonary function test...
He does not need oxygen or more respiratory treatments... just more exercise....
He is looking forward to using his new exercise bike!



**Blessings...

**A new day, A new week to experience great things!

Friendship... Means More to Some Than Others?

Just thinking this weekend about friendship..,.

My friends mostly....

I think I have confused a working relationship, (developed over about 10 years), with what a true friend should be....
maybe I should explain...

This has been a great weak for Jim's health concerns.... it was spoiled to some degree this Friday by someone who I thought of as a friend.... however... as I found out... the closeness and concern for one another was just a co-worker's concern for herself.... many ideas, concerns, personal hopes and sometimes frustrations have been shared with this person over many years working together...

I made a big mistake....
What I thought was friendship, was just a co-workers ability to "get along" with me at work to give more gossip material to her already "full bag" of personal information to readily share with others...

How did I find this out????
Well.....

I was asked three times on Friday by employees I work with, "Are you leaving us?", "Are you retiring?"...
I was surprised and asked, "Who told you this?'  .....
Each one said, "Someone was talking about you retiring", or "Someone was talking in the break room!"....

How did this make me feel???
I am still hurting from these comments...
You see.....working means a lot to me... not just the money, insurance or other benefits I receive....

Nursing, especially Orthopedic Nursing, means more than anything.... except my God and family....
Everyday is a new beginning where I can provide patient care,be a  mentor, lead by example and feel that what I do every day can make a difference in someones life...
I will not continue to write down the negative feelings that I experienced since Friday...(although I truly wish to do so..)

Just sharing my hurt with my husband and very best friend, Jim, has allowed me to start healing from the wounds this
one person created in my spirit....

Blessings this week have been many, but have been over-shadowed by this experience... it is difficult if not impossible to feel blessed right now....

Karron

I will suggest however, that if my blog is helping someone with "gossip material", that they examine their own heart. I'm ashamed that I work in an environment which provides care, concern and compassion with such a person.

Looks Like a Great Week Ahead!

The day is starting off really good...
Jim is eating a Bagel from McDonnalds and is ready for his walk with Denny & Butter!

Remember these suits???

Sunny Sunday!

There are no clouds in the sky and the sun is so bright! (Just a little too cool for Jim to sit on the porch..)
We will be looking at exercise equipment today... but for now Jim is using the 2.5 lbs weights from Deb!!

Next appointment is this week with the pulmonary doctor, Dr. Bakir, then more chemo on Friday...
While he is feeling better today, we have Springfield plans!!

**Blessings...

Great sunshine!

YEA! It has been 1 year!

Last year at this time, Jim was at Memorial with chest tubes and using oxygen....

What a memorable year this has been!

As we celebrate this time, our prayers will always be for patients facing such a diagnosis as his!

Jim has gone to Kiwanis this week, has taken walks with Butterscotch and Denny and has enjoyed eating!

We love everyone for their prayers and support this year!

Looking forward to returning the kindness and concern given to us, we will be looking for opportunities to assist others struggling  to stay healthy...

**Blessings...

**Our friends, especially Denny and Dick who have taken Jim to Springfield so many mornings and have stayed with him at the hospital!

"Someone Who Cares" by David Phelps

Karron

It's a Great Thursday!

Jim is feeling better! No appointments this week and he will be going to Kiwanis today!

Off to work I go.....




**Blessings....

**Watching kittens play with "dust bunnies"..... (not that the Murphy household has any...)

Wednesday Already!

Jim & Mommy Virginia!

After getting a pedicure yesterday... Jim is ready to go!  (not really)










Jim at newspaper...... First job after college!!



**Blessings...

 **Wonderful childhood memories!
**Remembering our past...

Preparing for Our Future

Making plans for our future...
I keep thinking of things Jim and I need to do..want to do..
Also...
the many thinks we have yet to experience together....

Where has the time gone???

Attending church services Sunday, I realized how fragile Jim has become.

I miss all the "little acts" that he has done without hesitation, (opening doors for me and others, walking down the long isle to communion, visiting with the priest after services, walking to the car, taking me out to lunch), and find myself praying for the yesterdays....

Looking through the many albums of our family, I just wish we had time for "a do over"!
Even though we have happy and wonderful memories, I think we could have had more.... (maybe).
We have had many memorable vacations with our family and friends over the years... I just want time for more trips to the mountains, more Chicago trips, more of everything..

When Jim lost his balance in church this Sunday and fell, I just wanted to turn back the clock...

It Was a Very Good Week!

Last week Jim was very busy with doctor's appointments.... but so far... everything looks good!

Today he attended part of the Underground Railroad Tour...

Pulmonary Function Test Today!

Jim has a pulmonary function test today in Springfield. He plans to take a big nap after the 2 hour test!

****Blessings...

Cheerios for breakfast, and he's off to walk Butter!

***Pam Martin for taking Jim to Springfield today!

Thinking of Mike.....

Today I have been thinking a lot about Jim's brother, Michael...

What a great, good hearted brother-in-law!

**Many Get-Well Messages from family and friends!

Francie & Rick remind us of God's promise, "I am He who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you."  Isaiah 46:4